I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
