you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
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It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We have so much sex to catch up on
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I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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