I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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