I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
