I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
