you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
