Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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