Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
