In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
