No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
