I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
