i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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