After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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