Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
