You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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