i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
