she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize