so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
