Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
