Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize