when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Randomize
