WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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