I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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