some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
