wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
