positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
