There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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