Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
