Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
