I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
