Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
