To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We talked him into tasing himself.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
