Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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