Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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