Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
