Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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