fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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