I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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