I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
