i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
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i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
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You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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