Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
