I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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