put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
