Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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