she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
