at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
