Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
