how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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