If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
