Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
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I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
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I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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