i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's blow job season.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
