I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
