ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
